So last week was super boring and not even worth a blog.
So we start off at the end of the wine dinner, which is the only interesting part, where Tareq decided he was going to take his drunken rage out on Mary. I am NOT havin' it. Listen Mary, no one knew what was comin down the pike all we knew is that a lot of wine was goin' down Tareq's throat and a lot of bull shit was about to come back up it. I mean, did Lolly really post "we really enjoyed our joy ride in that car we took with all that polo gear." I mean I typically post extremely incriminated comments on my friend's photo's like "yes, i loved that cocaine you're snorting almost as much as i loved kidnapping that kid so we could afford to pay for it-" oh wait.. that's someone else's comment.. don't Staub believin!
Polo gear and a charity are not nearly as important as a child's life, but Stacie makes a good point, they couldnt possibly understand it because they don't have a child and don't know what it's like to put something before their own interests. Whats worse- the car was never stolen! According to RealityTea:
" According to the Washington Post, the cops received a complaint in May 2008 about a minor incident involving a report of missing clothes and polo gear. And here comes the shocker, the $90,000 vehicle Tareq claimed was stolen? Not stolen at all. It was simply moved from one spot to another in the same valet parking area."
I love how Lynda will never miss a chance to make a cut at the Salahi's.. "so you actually went to their vineyard?" Although Lynda, Cyndi Lauper called and she would like her scrunchy back. Anyway, I agree with Cat here, I would have been wanting to leave the whole time, from the moment I saw the grocery store bought grapes and that "personal assistant" Jen called her a bitch. What the hell does Michaele Salahi need a personal assistant for? I was thinking maybe to help her keep her shit together, pick out her clothes in the morning, but now as well all know.. Michaele doesn't much care for clothes. Since my boyfriend subscribes to Playboy I am plotting to burn that edition as I suspect, judging from her body type, it may be a little "To Catch A Predator." And I'm not trying to walk into any kitchen with two swivel chairs and a "decoy" asking me if I would like some Iced Tea, because I love Iced Tea.
I love the family dynamic between the Amons. I think it's very responsible of Mary to ask her daughter and probe as much as she can and still decide that she is going to do her homework. Obviously she trusts her daughter, but you also need to know what everyone else knows. I wish Rich had been at the winery dinner, from the sounds of his "depends on how much liquor I have" comments. That conversation would not have gone nearly as far as it did had Rich been there.
When I saw Michaele and her "personal assistant" walking into that restaurant and I was like.. shut the front door Michaele is not going to dinner with Katy Perry. RIGHT?! I totally thought she looked like her! Then it was a major disappointment to see that camera hungry (i.e. Kim G) bitch back on the T.V. That conversation was so staged and so pre-planned, it was basically just, say as much as you can about Mary's daughter.. well the laugh is on them, because now everyone knows the Salahi's were lying, and Jen.. you are the company you keep. And then Michaele says the unthinkable.. she's Cinderella.. I do remember the playboy publication of Cinderella. I also remember Cinderella being notorious for going to parties she wasn't invited to. She's a lunatic, that Mrs. SalaHEEEE. Already the Salahi's are decling in a fan base.. did i not say they were bringing the crazy?!?! I know my shit.
I loved the scene with Lynda calling Stacie for some real estate advice, you know she is drinking scotch. I love it.
Did I also not predict that Edwina would be back for more scenes? She was apparently on the list to becoming one of the D.C. housewives, but for some reason.... didn't make the cut. What is going on with her eyes, why are they so bloodshot all the time? All the eyeliner maybe? I loved the flashback to when Cat first met her so that I could get another look at that HOT party Edwina wore at the polo match. Cat never misses a moment to be a bitch and totally make the whole atmosphere awkward. I mean did she forget they were on the same side? It's like Cat wants to start a fight with everyone. I just wanted Edwina to stop smiling for a second and say "I KNOW I WANT THE SAME FUCKING THINGS!" I did chuckle when Cat said Edwina looked like a doll, she really does, and those red eyes! I can't get over it!
I loved the dinner scene with Jason, Stacie, Lynda and Ebong. Yum! Ebong, I love my chocolate bar! I think I'm going to bring Lynda's little saying to Tampa.."we started drinking cocktails, because you know, it's raining and it's Tampa." That works out great for me since it rains in Tampa every day at 4pm. I'm sure my boss will understand why I'm bringing Chardonnay to work every day- "Lynda said that every time it rains..!" I love Lynda, I love her smirks, I love her chocolate bar of a boyfriend and I love her drinking, but when she brought up "reverse racism" I was a bit perplexed. I'm fairly certain in Southern GA, she should have no trouble getting served. But she won me back over with her "when you close your eyes and you touch somebody you know a man is a man and woman is a woman".. that's going to be my new pick up line "lets close our eyes and decide who's the man and who's the woman. Hook. Line. Sinker.
And listen, I'm with Meghan.. who hasn't fallen asleep on some type of ho-ho?
I think Cat needs to get a grip on her personality and her daughter's hair.. what the hell was that? She looked like George Clinton's mug shot. Also, was that really her inappropriate wedding dress? I wouldn't put it past her. Why does she constantly need the attention? She obviously planned on wearing that outfit, she needed a stylist and everything. Sarah Palin embarrasses herself all by herself, she doesn't need your help, Cat. From the way Michaele was acting at that party, I think she would blow your doorman if she thought it would help her social standing. I honestly think she has no idea what anyone is talking about, but if she wears a bright colored dress then maybe that will distract people from her blank stare. Listen, I'm not a fan of cat, but I'm even less of a fan of this Jen girl and I hate people trying to get in on the fame. Cat said that Edwina was suffering from vertigo the night of the party, but I've had vertigo and never needed an ambulance for it, so I did some digging:
"What happened in real life? Probably the flu. Rogers, executive director of the Patient Centered Primary Care Collaborative, e-mailed us that both of her children were sick with H1N1 that week; at the party, she took abruptly and violently ill in the ladies' room. "My staff called 911 and I went to GW for a few hours. The timing was pretty awful, but one cannot control these things. ...A dream situation for Bravo."
This Lolly situation has been the most interesting thing thus far..
What are your thoughts on the season?
Until next week, Bitches!!
Monday, September 13, 2010
Monday, August 23, 2010
"I hope you are enjoying this blog, I spent a lot of money on it"
A lot has happened this past week- got an account on twitter, follow me @HousewivesTalk. I asked Dirty D about being fired and the brewing custody battle for Jillian, she told me it's "all fiction" but who can believe majority of what she says?
Even though this blog is for D.C. I can't pretend like Jersey isn't rediculous this season, one of my tweeps @SimpleLifeLina has a great sneak peek of the reunion on her blog, check it out at: http://goo.gl/b/bdSV
those ladies are crazy and I love it! Dirty D always says the guilty run, looks like she walks off a couple times!
Anyway... lets get back to the bitch-tric.
Mary is so adorable I am finding it hard to say anything negative about her (and that usually comes very easily for me). As I have said in the past, she is falling into the Lisa supermom role and I think she has been that for a while now. She stated in her blog at bravotv.com that she was sick at Paul's party which explains why we didn't see her much.
I loved the scene with her and her daughter talking about "sexting," I totally cringed when that little babydoll said something with "sex" in it. Although what is she doing in public school? I totally thought everyone was in private school with the Obama girls. Lets be honest, private schools aren't so much sexting as they are sex-ing, believe me, I was in a uniform until college. But I'll plead the fifth like Meghan, I only knew of people doing that.
Mary is very disarming, much like Bethenney felt with Alex circa season 1 of NY, lots of people feel like they can tell her anything. So it came as no surprise that Paul confided in her regarding the SalaHEEE issue. Mary will never choose a side but I think she knew there was nothing she could say to defend Michaele and Tareq. This is made even more evident when she is chatting with her gays getting her hair done and they let her know that Tareq "hoped everyone was enjoying the party because he spent a lot of money on it," and while fighting back laughing, begged them to get back to chatting about her hair.
And Tareq- what money? Monopoly money? More on that later..
Stacie and Jason warm my heart. How cute is Jason? He curses and I love it! I asked Stacie on twitter if her friends' wine, Sugarleaf was sold nation wide, as I am always looking for new wines, and she told me it is! So I will be searching for that at my local Total Wine. Her brother in law is very gifted, I have to admit, I was bobbin my head and tip tappin my toe. I wasn't quite on the level of Michaele.. but she's got a lot of energy.. right? All hopped up on energy. Overall, Beat Assailant (B.A.) is very much B.A. (bad ass).
I thought it was really great that Stacie opened up about being adopted and the tribulations she faced in finding her mother and her mother not wanting to help her find her father. But to tell Michaele? I felt like Michaele was probably wondering what adoption meant and how to ask Stacie to sign a contract stating she won't be paying for anything.
Stacie says she opened up to Michaele because she saw a different side of her when she was away from Tareq, thats totally not a bad sign, that people see a better side of you when you are away from your husband. That's what I want in a husband, someone who is so insanely annoying and rude that people actually want to cannonize me when he is not around. Stacie made a reference to Michaele being know as "Missy" back in the day and Lynda made a reference to Michaele changing the way she pronounced her name. Hmm.. I think Tareq and Tom Cruise would get along great!
Let me say that I am totally Team Lynda. I love her, I love that she is 5 foot nothin' 100 nothin' and talks like shes twice her size. I honestly would not want to get on her bad side, so I hope she's not too made at me for my previous comments regarding her face. Woops.
I think Lynda was totally validated this episode when Paul called Mary regarding the SalaHEEs and when Charlotte and Paul talked about the "contract incident." She tried to tell us they are no good, she warned us that they don't keep up their end of the deal. Maybe she received a call similar to Charlotte regarding that infamous Polo Match in 2008. Lynda totally gets the last laugh. Or maybe the last condescending smirk that she loves to give and that I imitated for 45 minutes in the mirror after last episode. She pulls it off so well, I look like I'm fighting off a stroke.
There are certain people in the world that just make you wonder how they get around, how they get ready in the morning, how they get to places on time, how they make coherent statements, enter- MISTA SALAHEEEE, what the fuck? I mean what is there to say about this couple, we are not even a third into the season and I already can't stand her OR him. She lives right next to Kelly Bensimon in lala land with her horse Sparkle. I mean enough with the limos already. Enough with pretending you can jet set to Paris whenever you want, it's all for the cameras. C'mon, it's not like this is the first season of the housewives, this ain't our first time at the rodeo, us viewers see right through your bullshit and we know when people are trying really hard to be wealthy (i.e. Lynn, Kim, Dirty D, and Silex). Did you really think you could get away with not having to pay for anything at the party? Did you really think the girls wouldn't talk? Maybe we don't go to Paris and instead we pay for our friends birthday party?
Michaele said that she was one co-host of four, the other three being as follows: Erica Guiterrez (the friend of Stacie's at the dinner party in episode one, and who made the soul sister comment that set Cat off), Mary Barth (she was actually close to being cast on the show, she is a prominent socialite in the D.C. area), and Charlotte Reid (homegirl in need of a weave, and Paul's PR lady). Michaele says that since she was one of three co-hosts that she didn't think she should be solely responsible to pick up the tab, and had her lawyers get involved so her and her husband wouldn't be "used." Used by someone you consider your good friend? I don't know if she was trying to defend what she did, but it's not working.
Michaele goes on to say that her and Tareq donated thousands of dollars worth of wine and champagne. I don't think these two will every admit they were wrong, even with all the proof thrown in their face- you can lead a person to the barrel full of grapes, but ya can't make them stomp.
We all were wondering why Cat was being such a bitch lately. Well now we all know: divorce. Yes. Her and her childhood sweetheart whom she left the UK to be with are headed on down to splitzville. Sources actually state that during the filming of episode one where Cat is showing off Charles' picture of the VP Joe Biden, is when their marriage was on the decline, and the couple actually split before the show even aired. Cat says in her blog that is it very hard for her to watch the episode and see the love she once had for her husband.
A reliable source states:
When reality TV entered her life, Ommanney was both extremely new to her marriage and extremely new to Washington. Few in D.C. cocktail culture had heard of the blond, British mother of two when her name surfaced in connection with the show’s taping last year. And it was only in the summer of 2008 that she wed the prizewinning photojournalist, after a brief courtship in England, and followed him to the States
At this point, I'm tired of the race card. No one has an ounce of racism in them on the show. Especially not Cat. But there is one thing everyone does have, and thats an attitude.
I'm sorry, did I see my precious Mary crying because of Michaele? I guess we have to watch what happens!
Now lets head north to Jersey tonight, shall we?
Until next week, bitches!
Even though this blog is for D.C. I can't pretend like Jersey isn't rediculous this season, one of my tweeps @SimpleLifeLina has a great sneak peek of the reunion on her blog, check it out at: http://goo.gl/b/bdSV
those ladies are crazy and I love it! Dirty D always says the guilty run, looks like she walks off a couple times!
Anyway... lets get back to the bitch-tric.
Mary is so adorable I am finding it hard to say anything negative about her (and that usually comes very easily for me). As I have said in the past, she is falling into the Lisa supermom role and I think she has been that for a while now. She stated in her blog at bravotv.com that she was sick at Paul's party which explains why we didn't see her much.
I loved the scene with her and her daughter talking about "sexting," I totally cringed when that little babydoll said something with "sex" in it. Although what is she doing in public school? I totally thought everyone was in private school with the Obama girls. Lets be honest, private schools aren't so much sexting as they are sex-ing, believe me, I was in a uniform until college. But I'll plead the fifth like Meghan, I only knew of people doing that.
Mary is very disarming, much like Bethenney felt with Alex circa season 1 of NY, lots of people feel like they can tell her anything. So it came as no surprise that Paul confided in her regarding the SalaHEEE issue. Mary will never choose a side but I think she knew there was nothing she could say to defend Michaele and Tareq. This is made even more evident when she is chatting with her gays getting her hair done and they let her know that Tareq "hoped everyone was enjoying the party because he spent a lot of money on it," and while fighting back laughing, begged them to get back to chatting about her hair.
And Tareq- what money? Monopoly money? More on that later..
Stacie and Jason warm my heart. How cute is Jason? He curses and I love it! I asked Stacie on twitter if her friends' wine, Sugarleaf was sold nation wide, as I am always looking for new wines, and she told me it is! So I will be searching for that at my local Total Wine. Her brother in law is very gifted, I have to admit, I was bobbin my head and tip tappin my toe. I wasn't quite on the level of Michaele.. but she's got a lot of energy.. right? All hopped up on energy. Overall, Beat Assailant (B.A.) is very much B.A. (bad ass).
I thought it was really great that Stacie opened up about being adopted and the tribulations she faced in finding her mother and her mother not wanting to help her find her father. But to tell Michaele? I felt like Michaele was probably wondering what adoption meant and how to ask Stacie to sign a contract stating she won't be paying for anything.
Stacie says she opened up to Michaele because she saw a different side of her when she was away from Tareq, thats totally not a bad sign, that people see a better side of you when you are away from your husband. That's what I want in a husband, someone who is so insanely annoying and rude that people actually want to cannonize me when he is not around. Stacie made a reference to Michaele being know as "Missy" back in the day and Lynda made a reference to Michaele changing the way she pronounced her name. Hmm.. I think Tareq and Tom Cruise would get along great!
Let me say that I am totally Team Lynda. I love her, I love that she is 5 foot nothin' 100 nothin' and talks like shes twice her size. I honestly would not want to get on her bad side, so I hope she's not too made at me for my previous comments regarding her face. Woops.
I think Lynda was totally validated this episode when Paul called Mary regarding the SalaHEEs and when Charlotte and Paul talked about the "contract incident." She tried to tell us they are no good, she warned us that they don't keep up their end of the deal. Maybe she received a call similar to Charlotte regarding that infamous Polo Match in 2008. Lynda totally gets the last laugh. Or maybe the last condescending smirk that she loves to give and that I imitated for 45 minutes in the mirror after last episode. She pulls it off so well, I look like I'm fighting off a stroke.
There are certain people in the world that just make you wonder how they get around, how they get ready in the morning, how they get to places on time, how they make coherent statements, enter- MISTA SALAHEEEE, what the fuck? I mean what is there to say about this couple, we are not even a third into the season and I already can't stand her OR him. She lives right next to Kelly Bensimon in lala land with her horse Sparkle. I mean enough with the limos already. Enough with pretending you can jet set to Paris whenever you want, it's all for the cameras. C'mon, it's not like this is the first season of the housewives, this ain't our first time at the rodeo, us viewers see right through your bullshit and we know when people are trying really hard to be wealthy (i.e. Lynn, Kim, Dirty D, and Silex). Did you really think you could get away with not having to pay for anything at the party? Did you really think the girls wouldn't talk? Maybe we don't go to Paris and instead we pay for our friends birthday party?
Michaele said that she was one co-host of four, the other three being as follows: Erica Guiterrez (the friend of Stacie's at the dinner party in episode one, and who made the soul sister comment that set Cat off), Mary Barth (she was actually close to being cast on the show, she is a prominent socialite in the D.C. area), and Charlotte Reid (homegirl in need of a weave, and Paul's PR lady). Michaele says that since she was one of three co-hosts that she didn't think she should be solely responsible to pick up the tab, and had her lawyers get involved so her and her husband wouldn't be "used." Used by someone you consider your good friend? I don't know if she was trying to defend what she did, but it's not working.
Michaele goes on to say that her and Tareq donated thousands of dollars worth of wine and champagne. I don't think these two will every admit they were wrong, even with all the proof thrown in their face- you can lead a person to the barrel full of grapes, but ya can't make them stomp.
We all were wondering why Cat was being such a bitch lately. Well now we all know: divorce. Yes. Her and her childhood sweetheart whom she left the UK to be with are headed on down to splitzville. Sources actually state that during the filming of episode one where Cat is showing off Charles' picture of the VP Joe Biden, is when their marriage was on the decline, and the couple actually split before the show even aired. Cat says in her blog that is it very hard for her to watch the episode and see the love she once had for her husband.
A reliable source states:
When reality TV entered her life, Ommanney was both extremely new to her marriage and extremely new to Washington. Few in D.C. cocktail culture had heard of the blond, British mother of two when her name surfaced in connection with the show’s taping last year. And it was only in the summer of 2008 that she wed the prizewinning photojournalist, after a brief courtship in England, and followed him to the States
At this point, I'm tired of the race card. No one has an ounce of racism in them on the show. Especially not Cat. But there is one thing everyone does have, and thats an attitude.
I'm sorry, did I see my precious Mary crying because of Michaele? I guess we have to watch what happens!
Now lets head north to Jersey tonight, shall we?
Until next week, bitches!
Monday, August 16, 2010
"They put the damn cork in my ass!"
This episode wasn't too interesting, but we're still getting to know these girls and I know things are gonna heat up!
Happy birthday Michaele! You're 44 but your body isn't a day over 12! Man did these two take this opportunity to flaunt their wealth, this leads me to believe they aren't really as rich as they want us to think. I mean a horse? Really? A horse. Not just a horse, a horse named Sparkle. How long until Sparkle takes it's own life? Season 2 maybe? Then Lynda fills us in later that this horse is a new one, which means an additional horse.. what happened is the Salahis had another horse named Miami that had just died of a tumor. I think Tareq is disgusting, rude, not funny and just not enjoyable to look at. I don't think it's funny to switch champagne for beer. I don't think Cat and Mary know them well enough to be pulling that, Tareq seems like a bully, and if what Lynda said about him being verbally abusive to a female at a premiere party last week, then that assumption of mine would be right!
OF COURSE when Lynda insinuated that the Salahi's are in financial trouble I looked that shit UP and guess what. THEY ARE. Here's whats going on: The Salahi's were throwing their own premiere party two Thursdays ago (you know, since no one wanted them at the official premiere party) and THATS where they were served court papers asking them to pay up a big chunck of money to a PR firm that sponsored their Polo match back in 2008- remember when Lynda said no one got paid? Check and check. How embarrasing!! It seems as though they owe $15,000 and since they are having trouble just paying that off they need to go to court to discuss how they will pay the firm back. No wonder they are filing assault lawsuits left and right. Maybe we don't need morning, afternoon and evening shoes hmmmmm??
http://thestir.cafemom.com/entertainment/107692/real_housewives_of_dc_salahi
When we saw Lynda she was working with her assistant and I initially thought, "wow, she's young" and then Lynda says shes her daughter-in-law and married to her son, and I'm like.. maybe on Teen Mom is that girl married, shes doesnt look older than 15. I can't even imagine what it's like being Lynda's assistant. Her face is so pulled back I would think she was constantly surprised/mad at me and live in fear of her constantly wanting me to shove my finger down my throat, or maybe hers, who knows what she's into.
Does anyone see history repeating itself.. Dwight, Nene and Sheree and now we have Paul, Lynda and Michaele. Lynda is having a hard time seeing a friendship growing between Paul and Michaele, and I mean, when Paul asked Michaele to throw his birthday party and not Lynda thats a gay man's way of saying "step your game up, bitch." Although I think Lynda gets the last laugh here since Michaele sucks as a host, shows up late in a limo she apparently can't afford, I think she forgot whos party it was. Michaele is to Lynda as Alexis is to Vicki: an attention WHORE. Maybe these two are the fued of the season!
Mary.. you're about as bilingual as Luanne, lets not toot our own horns just yet. That dog is adorable and I would put up with it's hair balls anyday. I like Lolly, she had financial issues, admitted it, and came home. She now works at a restaurant and is trying to get back on her feet.. in this economy we should take what we can get. She could easily be like Ryan circa season 3 of OC and just living off his parents and gettin wasted every day, but shes not.. in short: Shut the fuck up, Cat.
Mary has very little drama in her life and is just a good mom, she tips her daughter well and loves her family and I respect that about her. Every season has a drama-free, always in the middle of everything housewife, sometimes they end up leaving the show because of it (i.e. Dina, Jeana, DeShawn and word on the street is Alex is on her way out). I know.. I'm good, right? Most likely Mary will end up leaving at the end of season two saying she did it to get publicity for her charities and the drama was too much.
Stacie is a straight shooter and her main thing this episode was dinner at aunt Francis'. I love a good southern family, my parents are both from the south and my brother-in-law's family is from the bible belt and our big get togethers look like that. I love that aunt Francis was wasted, that will be me in about 20 years, slurring about how I'm all set with my glass of scotch. Lynda fit in there like a glove, shes a southern belle too and is know for her fried chicken, ATV riding and gun shooting. Mary could fit in anywhere, she is bilingual, Michaele can't fit in anywhere, esp. in her clothes. But Cat.. this just hasn't been her week. Stacie actually came to her defense in her blog, saying that she's not racist, she is just uncomfortable in unfamiliar situations, which can lead to people believing she is racist. Plus that makes for good TV. Mary also came to Cat's defense in her blog, using that bull shit excuse that "she was having a bad day" and "a lot went on off camera." I think Stacie had every right to be pissed, and Cat was rude to leave early (I don't care if you offered to do the dishes), but Stacie is educated enough to know Cat isn't being rude because Stacie is black. Housewife don't play dat.
Cat, Cat, Cat.. not much to say about you except.. you must have made a pinky pack that your foot will never leave your mouth. Although I love watching you interact with your husband and children, I feel like I'm watching a scene from Mary Poppins.
Until next week, bitches!
Happy birthday Michaele! You're 44 but your body isn't a day over 12! Man did these two take this opportunity to flaunt their wealth, this leads me to believe they aren't really as rich as they want us to think. I mean a horse? Really? A horse. Not just a horse, a horse named Sparkle. How long until Sparkle takes it's own life? Season 2 maybe? Then Lynda fills us in later that this horse is a new one, which means an additional horse.. what happened is the Salahis had another horse named Miami that had just died of a tumor. I think Tareq is disgusting, rude, not funny and just not enjoyable to look at. I don't think it's funny to switch champagne for beer. I don't think Cat and Mary know them well enough to be pulling that, Tareq seems like a bully, and if what Lynda said about him being verbally abusive to a female at a premiere party last week, then that assumption of mine would be right!
OF COURSE when Lynda insinuated that the Salahi's are in financial trouble I looked that shit UP and guess what. THEY ARE. Here's whats going on: The Salahi's were throwing their own premiere party two Thursdays ago (you know, since no one wanted them at the official premiere party) and THATS where they were served court papers asking them to pay up a big chunck of money to a PR firm that sponsored their Polo match back in 2008- remember when Lynda said no one got paid? Check and check. How embarrasing!! It seems as though they owe $15,000 and since they are having trouble just paying that off they need to go to court to discuss how they will pay the firm back. No wonder they are filing assault lawsuits left and right. Maybe we don't need morning, afternoon and evening shoes hmmmmm??
http://thestir.cafemom.com/entertainment/107692/real_housewives_of_dc_salahi
When we saw Lynda she was working with her assistant and I initially thought, "wow, she's young" and then Lynda says shes her daughter-in-law and married to her son, and I'm like.. maybe on Teen Mom is that girl married, shes doesnt look older than 15. I can't even imagine what it's like being Lynda's assistant. Her face is so pulled back I would think she was constantly surprised/mad at me and live in fear of her constantly wanting me to shove my finger down my throat, or maybe hers, who knows what she's into.
Does anyone see history repeating itself.. Dwight, Nene and Sheree and now we have Paul, Lynda and Michaele. Lynda is having a hard time seeing a friendship growing between Paul and Michaele, and I mean, when Paul asked Michaele to throw his birthday party and not Lynda thats a gay man's way of saying "step your game up, bitch." Although I think Lynda gets the last laugh here since Michaele sucks as a host, shows up late in a limo she apparently can't afford, I think she forgot whos party it was. Michaele is to Lynda as Alexis is to Vicki: an attention WHORE. Maybe these two are the fued of the season!
Mary.. you're about as bilingual as Luanne, lets not toot our own horns just yet. That dog is adorable and I would put up with it's hair balls anyday. I like Lolly, she had financial issues, admitted it, and came home. She now works at a restaurant and is trying to get back on her feet.. in this economy we should take what we can get. She could easily be like Ryan circa season 3 of OC and just living off his parents and gettin wasted every day, but shes not.. in short: Shut the fuck up, Cat.
Mary has very little drama in her life and is just a good mom, she tips her daughter well and loves her family and I respect that about her. Every season has a drama-free, always in the middle of everything housewife, sometimes they end up leaving the show because of it (i.e. Dina, Jeana, DeShawn and word on the street is Alex is on her way out). I know.. I'm good, right? Most likely Mary will end up leaving at the end of season two saying she did it to get publicity for her charities and the drama was too much.
Stacie is a straight shooter and her main thing this episode was dinner at aunt Francis'. I love a good southern family, my parents are both from the south and my brother-in-law's family is from the bible belt and our big get togethers look like that. I love that aunt Francis was wasted, that will be me in about 20 years, slurring about how I'm all set with my glass of scotch. Lynda fit in there like a glove, shes a southern belle too and is know for her fried chicken, ATV riding and gun shooting. Mary could fit in anywhere, she is bilingual, Michaele can't fit in anywhere, esp. in her clothes. But Cat.. this just hasn't been her week. Stacie actually came to her defense in her blog, saying that she's not racist, she is just uncomfortable in unfamiliar situations, which can lead to people believing she is racist. Plus that makes for good TV. Mary also came to Cat's defense in her blog, using that bull shit excuse that "she was having a bad day" and "a lot went on off camera." I think Stacie had every right to be pissed, and Cat was rude to leave early (I don't care if you offered to do the dishes), but Stacie is educated enough to know Cat isn't being rude because Stacie is black. Housewife don't play dat.
Cat, Cat, Cat.. not much to say about you except.. you must have made a pinky pack that your foot will never leave your mouth. Although I love watching you interact with your husband and children, I feel like I'm watching a scene from Mary Poppins.
Until next week, bitches!
Monday, August 9, 2010
Welcome to the Bitch-tric
There's a new batch of ladies in town and how fiesty are they?! Already Obama and George W. are the sixth and seventh housewives and it's just the premiere!
We start off meeting Mary Schmidt Amons, granddaughter of famed TV personality Arthur Godfrey. He was fairly controversial and known to be intimidating and controling of his cast members on his talent show and was rumored to have been jealous of cast members gaining more popularity than he. Well I hope those attributes stayed in the family! One of the first sentences out of her month is about how close she is with the Kennedy family.. Ok Mary, we get it. You live next to Dick Cheney and Colin Powell lives across the street, we're jealous, I'm hooked. She does seem to have a level head though, with five kids and two charities "Labels for Love" and "District Sample Sale" of which she founds and co-founds, I see her falling into the Lisa of Atlanta supermom role.
I'm thinking of getting a biometric locks on all the doors in my house, that seems very reasonable. No one does so much as take a shit without my finger print being involved. Sounds like a plan. I loved Mary's birthday and the fact that she got wasted on camera, that was very real of her. She about walked up to capitol hill with her bill to for the intergration of salons. Stacie's face was priceless and I about choked on my popcorn. Whatever, Mary, I'm with you girlfriend, once I finish rallying with my gays I'll hop over to the integration of salons march, it's really all about equailty, love is love and hair is hair.
Next up we meet Stacie Scott Turner, right after we meet Mary who says she is a second generation Washingtonian who lives in Virginia, Stacie basically blows that shit out of the water saying you can't be a true Washingtonian and live in the suburbs. Meow, Stacie, I like you already. Shes got an MBA from Harvard and is in Real Estate, but not like Gretchen Rossi is in "Real Estate", she's more like Jeana Keough, you know, does work in Real Estate even when she's with a man. There's a difference, and it's called 25-30 mil a year. I can tell Stacie runs a tight ship, those kids are in bed by 9 and not a minute later. She doesn't mess around, especially when it comes to her charity she founded called "Extra-Ordinary Life" where she helps teenage foster girls, living in the D.C. area.
Stacie and Cat, could they be the new Tamara and Gretchen? The new Bethenny and Jill? The new Kim and Nene? The new Danielle and.... everyone? Too soon to tell but that cooking class was on fuego and I loved every second. How ballsy is Cat to start bashing Obama like that with a smile on her face-- we'll get to her in a minute.
OH HEY LYNDA, YOU LOOK SURPRISED TO SEE US! I was wondering when our favorite housewife, Botox, was going to show up. Thank you, Lynda. Well Lynda Erkiletian holds nothing back, except her face. She is the owner of T.H.E. Artist Agency and looks like the type that will tell you to start considering anorexia without batting an eye. She's got four kids and has had it with husbands and prefers to cuddle up to her 8 foot tall chocolate bar, Ebong. YUM. Cat put it perfectly "twice her size and half her age." Get it, girl, 50 is the new 30, work it. She is involved in many charities which means she hasn't founded one... step it up, Lynda.
Episode one and Lynda is already stirrin the shit. Callin out Michaele for being too skinny, out of concern, of course. She apparently has no patience for Michaele but in true housewife form was just so excited to see her surprisingly show up to Mary's birthday party. Loves it! Apparently some drama went down at a premiere party at the Beverly Hilton, according to Lynda's blog on bravotv.com Tareq, Michaele's husband, was verbally abusive to a female and Lynda wasn't having it and Tareq threw a glass of red wine at Lynda, once again proving that this drama ain't The Hills, this shit's fo' real. Sounds like someone wants to be a Real Househusbands of D.C. Take if from Simon, Tareq, you're better off riding on Michaele's coat tails. Can't wait to see Lynda do some damage. Bring it.
Michaele Salahi.. we've been waiting for you since you snuck into the White House party back in November of '09. When they started saying she was shooting for Real Housewives of D.C., I about peed myself with excitement. Bravo knows how to pick 'em. She's married to Tareq who looks like he might be ceritifiable. They founded America's Polo Cup and Tareq is the team captain. So Tareq plays polo while Michaele entertains the guests. She is very.. energetic.. is that what we're calling it? Yes, she was hopped up on a lot of.. energy. Watching her talk to guests was a lot like watching Dory from Finding Nemo.. did anyone else feel that way? When she was talking to Edwina about lobbying be "like, hard." I realized that her and Lynn would be bestest buddies and they would make pinky packs all day long. By the way, I loved Edwina's party hat, that elastic band was very flattering. We also meet Paul Wharton here, and I feel like he's going to be D.C.'s Dwight.
Listen Michaele, when you wear size 16 months, you have to expect people are going to talk. She's going to be a lot like Danielle, shes already accused Whoopi Goldberg of assault when Whoopi softly nudged Michaele during her guest appearance on The View, asking her to stay on topic. Michaele's attorney made a statement saying Whoopi verbally berated Michaele behind the scenes at the view, and the next day Michaele sued her own attorney for assualt! YOU CAN'T MAKE THIS STUFF UP! Episode one and no one likes Michaele, atleast Danielle snuck up on us with her crazy, Michaele and Tareq are bringin the crazy. Michaele was not present at the housewives premiere and every single housewife said they were happy because they were sick of her, didn't want to deal with her, were exhausted of her, and wanted nothing to do with her. Good. Ness.
Finally, we have Cat. Andy confused me on Watch What Happens when he told Rachel Dratch that Cat was from D.C., leading me to believe she the same accent as Martha Stewart, which is a fake one. Catherine Ommanney, hails from England and moved to the U.S. to marry her highschool sweetheart with her children. Her husband is something of a rock star and does photography for the White House, more specifically, the presidential family.. Cat is going to automatically be called a racist for saying what she did about Obama but I don't believe she is, nor do I think she doesn't believe in Obama and his administration. I think she was saying how she felt, and of course everyone has to lose their shit over it! She was being overly self-absorbed at the cooking party which made everything slightly awkward and made me love her. I loved Mary's expressions.. every white person knows that when something is said that can be taken even slightly racist we all look around like "we all understand that I did not say that, correct? We're good right?" Cat has a book come out sometime next year called "Inbox Full" about her racy escapades as a single woman. Ok Cat, we know what you're inbox is full of.
These women are bringing it to the table and I love it. Can't wait to watch what happens!
Later honeys!
You don't like honey? Is bitch better? Fine.
Later bitches!
We start off meeting Mary Schmidt Amons, granddaughter of famed TV personality Arthur Godfrey. He was fairly controversial and known to be intimidating and controling of his cast members on his talent show and was rumored to have been jealous of cast members gaining more popularity than he. Well I hope those attributes stayed in the family! One of the first sentences out of her month is about how close she is with the Kennedy family.. Ok Mary, we get it. You live next to Dick Cheney and Colin Powell lives across the street, we're jealous, I'm hooked. She does seem to have a level head though, with five kids and two charities "Labels for Love" and "District Sample Sale" of which she founds and co-founds, I see her falling into the Lisa of Atlanta supermom role.
I'm thinking of getting a biometric locks on all the doors in my house, that seems very reasonable. No one does so much as take a shit without my finger print being involved. Sounds like a plan. I loved Mary's birthday and the fact that she got wasted on camera, that was very real of her. She about walked up to capitol hill with her bill to for the intergration of salons. Stacie's face was priceless and I about choked on my popcorn. Whatever, Mary, I'm with you girlfriend, once I finish rallying with my gays I'll hop over to the integration of salons march, it's really all about equailty, love is love and hair is hair.
Next up we meet Stacie Scott Turner, right after we meet Mary who says she is a second generation Washingtonian who lives in Virginia, Stacie basically blows that shit out of the water saying you can't be a true Washingtonian and live in the suburbs. Meow, Stacie, I like you already. Shes got an MBA from Harvard and is in Real Estate, but not like Gretchen Rossi is in "Real Estate", she's more like Jeana Keough, you know, does work in Real Estate even when she's with a man. There's a difference, and it's called 25-30 mil a year. I can tell Stacie runs a tight ship, those kids are in bed by 9 and not a minute later. She doesn't mess around, especially when it comes to her charity she founded called "Extra-Ordinary Life" where she helps teenage foster girls, living in the D.C. area.
Stacie and Cat, could they be the new Tamara and Gretchen? The new Bethenny and Jill? The new Kim and Nene? The new Danielle and.... everyone? Too soon to tell but that cooking class was on fuego and I loved every second. How ballsy is Cat to start bashing Obama like that with a smile on her face-- we'll get to her in a minute.
OH HEY LYNDA, YOU LOOK SURPRISED TO SEE US! I was wondering when our favorite housewife, Botox, was going to show up. Thank you, Lynda. Well Lynda Erkiletian holds nothing back, except her face. She is the owner of T.H.E. Artist Agency and looks like the type that will tell you to start considering anorexia without batting an eye. She's got four kids and has had it with husbands and prefers to cuddle up to her 8 foot tall chocolate bar, Ebong. YUM. Cat put it perfectly "twice her size and half her age." Get it, girl, 50 is the new 30, work it. She is involved in many charities which means she hasn't founded one... step it up, Lynda.
Episode one and Lynda is already stirrin the shit. Callin out Michaele for being too skinny, out of concern, of course. She apparently has no patience for Michaele but in true housewife form was just so excited to see her surprisingly show up to Mary's birthday party. Loves it! Apparently some drama went down at a premiere party at the Beverly Hilton, according to Lynda's blog on bravotv.com Tareq, Michaele's husband, was verbally abusive to a female and Lynda wasn't having it and Tareq threw a glass of red wine at Lynda, once again proving that this drama ain't The Hills, this shit's fo' real. Sounds like someone wants to be a Real Househusbands of D.C. Take if from Simon, Tareq, you're better off riding on Michaele's coat tails. Can't wait to see Lynda do some damage. Bring it.
Michaele Salahi.. we've been waiting for you since you snuck into the White House party back in November of '09. When they started saying she was shooting for Real Housewives of D.C., I about peed myself with excitement. Bravo knows how to pick 'em. She's married to Tareq who looks like he might be ceritifiable. They founded America's Polo Cup and Tareq is the team captain. So Tareq plays polo while Michaele entertains the guests. She is very.. energetic.. is that what we're calling it? Yes, she was hopped up on a lot of.. energy. Watching her talk to guests was a lot like watching Dory from Finding Nemo.. did anyone else feel that way? When she was talking to Edwina about lobbying be "like, hard." I realized that her and Lynn would be bestest buddies and they would make pinky packs all day long. By the way, I loved Edwina's party hat, that elastic band was very flattering. We also meet Paul Wharton here, and I feel like he's going to be D.C.'s Dwight.
Listen Michaele, when you wear size 16 months, you have to expect people are going to talk. She's going to be a lot like Danielle, shes already accused Whoopi Goldberg of assault when Whoopi softly nudged Michaele during her guest appearance on The View, asking her to stay on topic. Michaele's attorney made a statement saying Whoopi verbally berated Michaele behind the scenes at the view, and the next day Michaele sued her own attorney for assualt! YOU CAN'T MAKE THIS STUFF UP! Episode one and no one likes Michaele, atleast Danielle snuck up on us with her crazy, Michaele and Tareq are bringin the crazy. Michaele was not present at the housewives premiere and every single housewife said they were happy because they were sick of her, didn't want to deal with her, were exhausted of her, and wanted nothing to do with her. Good. Ness.
Finally, we have Cat. Andy confused me on Watch What Happens when he told Rachel Dratch that Cat was from D.C., leading me to believe she the same accent as Martha Stewart, which is a fake one. Catherine Ommanney, hails from England and moved to the U.S. to marry her highschool sweetheart with her children. Her husband is something of a rock star and does photography for the White House, more specifically, the presidential family.. Cat is going to automatically be called a racist for saying what she did about Obama but I don't believe she is, nor do I think she doesn't believe in Obama and his administration. I think she was saying how she felt, and of course everyone has to lose their shit over it! She was being overly self-absorbed at the cooking party which made everything slightly awkward and made me love her. I loved Mary's expressions.. every white person knows that when something is said that can be taken even slightly racist we all look around like "we all understand that I did not say that, correct? We're good right?" Cat has a book come out sometime next year called "Inbox Full" about her racy escapades as a single woman. Ok Cat, we know what you're inbox is full of.
These women are bringing it to the table and I love it. Can't wait to watch what happens!
Later honeys!
You don't like honey? Is bitch better? Fine.
Later bitches!
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