So last week was super boring and not even worth a blog.
So we start off at the end of the wine dinner, which is the only interesting part, where Tareq decided he was going to take his drunken rage out on Mary. I am NOT havin' it. Listen Mary, no one knew what was comin down the pike all we knew is that a lot of wine was goin' down Tareq's throat and a lot of bull shit was about to come back up it. I mean, did Lolly really post "we really enjoyed our joy ride in that car we took with all that polo gear." I mean I typically post extremely incriminated comments on my friend's photo's like "yes, i loved that cocaine you're snorting almost as much as i loved kidnapping that kid so we could afford to pay for it-" oh wait.. that's someone else's comment.. don't Staub believin!
Polo gear and a charity are not nearly as important as a child's life, but Stacie makes a good point, they couldnt possibly understand it because they don't have a child and don't know what it's like to put something before their own interests. Whats worse- the car was never stolen! According to RealityTea:
" According to the Washington Post, the cops received a complaint in May 2008 about a minor incident involving a report of missing clothes and polo gear. And here comes the shocker, the $90,000 vehicle Tareq claimed was stolen? Not stolen at all. It was simply moved from one spot to another in the same valet parking area."
I love how Lynda will never miss a chance to make a cut at the Salahi's.. "so you actually went to their vineyard?" Although Lynda, Cyndi Lauper called and she would like her scrunchy back. Anyway, I agree with Cat here, I would have been wanting to leave the whole time, from the moment I saw the grocery store bought grapes and that "personal assistant" Jen called her a bitch. What the hell does Michaele Salahi need a personal assistant for? I was thinking maybe to help her keep her shit together, pick out her clothes in the morning, but now as well all know.. Michaele doesn't much care for clothes. Since my boyfriend subscribes to Playboy I am plotting to burn that edition as I suspect, judging from her body type, it may be a little "To Catch A Predator." And I'm not trying to walk into any kitchen with two swivel chairs and a "decoy" asking me if I would like some Iced Tea, because I love Iced Tea.
I love the family dynamic between the Amons. I think it's very responsible of Mary to ask her daughter and probe as much as she can and still decide that she is going to do her homework. Obviously she trusts her daughter, but you also need to know what everyone else knows. I wish Rich had been at the winery dinner, from the sounds of his "depends on how much liquor I have" comments. That conversation would not have gone nearly as far as it did had Rich been there.
When I saw Michaele and her "personal assistant" walking into that restaurant and I was like.. shut the front door Michaele is not going to dinner with Katy Perry. RIGHT?! I totally thought she looked like her! Then it was a major disappointment to see that camera hungry (i.e. Kim G) bitch back on the T.V. That conversation was so staged and so pre-planned, it was basically just, say as much as you can about Mary's daughter.. well the laugh is on them, because now everyone knows the Salahi's were lying, and Jen.. you are the company you keep. And then Michaele says the unthinkable.. she's Cinderella.. I do remember the playboy publication of Cinderella. I also remember Cinderella being notorious for going to parties she wasn't invited to. She's a lunatic, that Mrs. SalaHEEEE. Already the Salahi's are decling in a fan base.. did i not say they were bringing the crazy?!?! I know my shit.
I loved the scene with Lynda calling Stacie for some real estate advice, you know she is drinking scotch. I love it.
Did I also not predict that Edwina would be back for more scenes? She was apparently on the list to becoming one of the D.C. housewives, but for some reason.... didn't make the cut. What is going on with her eyes, why are they so bloodshot all the time? All the eyeliner maybe? I loved the flashback to when Cat first met her so that I could get another look at that HOT party Edwina wore at the polo match. Cat never misses a moment to be a bitch and totally make the whole atmosphere awkward. I mean did she forget they were on the same side? It's like Cat wants to start a fight with everyone. I just wanted Edwina to stop smiling for a second and say "I KNOW I WANT THE SAME FUCKING THINGS!" I did chuckle when Cat said Edwina looked like a doll, she really does, and those red eyes! I can't get over it!
I loved the dinner scene with Jason, Stacie, Lynda and Ebong. Yum! Ebong, I love my chocolate bar! I think I'm going to bring Lynda's little saying to Tampa.."we started drinking cocktails, because you know, it's raining and it's Tampa." That works out great for me since it rains in Tampa every day at 4pm. I'm sure my boss will understand why I'm bringing Chardonnay to work every day- "Lynda said that every time it rains..!" I love Lynda, I love her smirks, I love her chocolate bar of a boyfriend and I love her drinking, but when she brought up "reverse racism" I was a bit perplexed. I'm fairly certain in Southern GA, she should have no trouble getting served. But she won me back over with her "when you close your eyes and you touch somebody you know a man is a man and woman is a woman".. that's going to be my new pick up line "lets close our eyes and decide who's the man and who's the woman. Hook. Line. Sinker.
And listen, I'm with Meghan.. who hasn't fallen asleep on some type of ho-ho?
I think Cat needs to get a grip on her personality and her daughter's hair.. what the hell was that? She looked like George Clinton's mug shot. Also, was that really her inappropriate wedding dress? I wouldn't put it past her. Why does she constantly need the attention? She obviously planned on wearing that outfit, she needed a stylist and everything. Sarah Palin embarrasses herself all by herself, she doesn't need your help, Cat. From the way Michaele was acting at that party, I think she would blow your doorman if she thought it would help her social standing. I honestly think she has no idea what anyone is talking about, but if she wears a bright colored dress then maybe that will distract people from her blank stare. Listen, I'm not a fan of cat, but I'm even less of a fan of this Jen girl and I hate people trying to get in on the fame. Cat said that Edwina was suffering from vertigo the night of the party, but I've had vertigo and never needed an ambulance for it, so I did some digging:
"What happened in real life? Probably the flu. Rogers, executive director of the Patient Centered Primary Care Collaborative, e-mailed us that both of her children were sick with H1N1 that week; at the party, she took abruptly and violently ill in the ladies' room. "My staff called 911 and I went to GW for a few hours. The timing was pretty awful, but one cannot control these things. ...A dream situation for Bravo."
This Lolly situation has been the most interesting thing thus far..
What are your thoughts on the season?
Until next week, Bitches!!
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