"They put the damn cork in my ass!"

This episode wasn't too interesting, but we're still getting to know these girls and I know things are gonna heat up!

Happy birthday Michaele!  You're 44 but your body isn't a day over 12!  Man did these two take this opportunity to flaunt their wealth, this leads me to believe they aren't really as rich as they want us to think.  I mean a horse?  Really?  A horse.  Not just a horse, a horse named Sparkle.  How long until Sparkle takes it's own life?  Season 2 maybe?  Then Lynda fills us in later that this horse is a new one, which means an additional horse.. what happened is the Salahis had another horse named Miami that had just died of a tumor. I think Tareq is disgusting, rude, not funny and just not enjoyable to look at.  I don't think it's funny to switch champagne for beer.  I don't think Cat and Mary know them well enough to be pulling that, Tareq seems like a bully, and if what Lynda said about him being verbally abusive to a female at a premiere party last week, then that assumption of mine would be right!
OF COURSE when Lynda insinuated that the Salahi's are in financial trouble I looked that shit UP and guess what. THEY ARE.  Here's whats going on:  The Salahi's were throwing their own premiere party two Thursdays ago (you know, since no one wanted them at the official premiere party) and THATS where they were served court papers asking them to pay up a big chunck of money to a PR firm that sponsored their Polo match back in 2008- remember when Lynda said no one got paid?  Check and check.  How embarrasing!! It seems as though they owe $15,000 and since they are having trouble just paying that off they need to go to court to discuss how they will pay the firm back.  No wonder they are filing assault lawsuits left and right.  Maybe we don't need morning, afternoon and evening shoes hmmmmm??
http://thestir.cafemom.com/entertainment/107692/real_housewives_of_dc_salahi

When we saw Lynda she was working with her assistant and I initially thought, "wow, she's young" and then Lynda says shes her daughter-in-law and married to her son, and I'm like.. maybe on Teen Mom is that girl married, shes doesnt look older than 15.  I can't even imagine what it's like being Lynda's assistant.  Her face is so pulled back I would think she was constantly surprised/mad at me and live in fear of her constantly wanting me to shove my finger down my throat, or maybe hers, who knows what she's into.
Does anyone see history repeating itself.. Dwight, Nene and Sheree and now we have Paul, Lynda and Michaele.  Lynda is having a hard time seeing a friendship growing between Paul and Michaele, and I mean, when Paul asked Michaele to throw his birthday party and not Lynda thats a gay man's way of saying "step your game up, bitch."  Although I think Lynda gets the last laugh here since Michaele sucks as a host, shows up late in a limo she apparently can't afford, I think she forgot whos party it was.  Michaele is to Lynda as Alexis is to Vicki: an attention WHORE.  Maybe these two are the fued of the season!

Mary.. you're about as bilingual as Luanne, lets not toot our own horns just yet.  That dog is adorable and I would put up with it's hair balls anyday.  I like Lolly, she had financial issues, admitted it, and came home. She now works at a restaurant and is trying to get back on her feet.. in this economy we should take what we can get.  She could easily be like Ryan circa season 3 of OC and just living off his parents and gettin wasted every day, but shes not.. in short: Shut the fuck up, Cat.
Mary has very little drama in her life and is just a good mom, she tips her daughter well and loves her family and I respect that about her.  Every season has a drama-free, always in the middle of everything housewife, sometimes they end up leaving the show because of it (i.e. Dina, Jeana, DeShawn and word on the street is Alex is on her way out).  I know.. I'm good, right?  Most likely Mary will end up leaving at the end of season two saying she did it to get publicity for her charities and the drama was too much.  

Stacie is a straight shooter and her main thing this episode was dinner at aunt Francis'.  I love a good southern family, my parents are both from the south and my brother-in-law's family is from the bible belt and our big get togethers look like that.  I love that aunt Francis was wasted, that will be me in about 20 years, slurring about how I'm all set with my glass of scotch.  Lynda fit in there like a glove, shes a southern belle too and is know for her fried chicken, ATV riding and gun shooting.  Mary could fit in anywhere, she is bilingual, Michaele can't fit in anywhere, esp. in her clothes.  But Cat.. this just hasn't been her week.  Stacie actually came to her defense in her blog, saying that she's not racist, she is just uncomfortable in unfamiliar situations, which can lead to people believing she is racist.  Plus that makes for good TV.  Mary also came to Cat's defense in her blog, using that bull shit excuse that "she was having a bad day" and "a lot went on off camera."  I think Stacie had every right to be pissed, and Cat was rude to leave early (I don't care if you offered to do the dishes), but Stacie is educated enough to know Cat isn't being rude because Stacie is black.  Housewife don't play dat.

Cat, Cat, Cat.. not much to say about you except.. you must have made a pinky pack that your foot will never leave your mouth.  Although I love watching you interact with your husband and children, I feel like I'm watching a scene from Mary Poppins.

Until next week, bitches!